It’s Summer! Where are your thighs?!

Welcome back, beaches!

It has been awhile.. SORRY

Is it too late now to say that you can still add to your swimwear collection? NO! Because Summer just started.. kind of.

Choosing a pair of swimmies (can we call them that?) can be difficult.. Trust me, I know! What length do I buy? What colors? Where from? How many?!

COOL IT! lol, get it, cause it’s Summer? Anyway.. I’m here to help!


STEP 1: Choose a length

How short is too short? Well.. I don’t necessarily think there’s a correct answer to that question.

Okay, so how long is too long? HA! If they go below your kneecaps, then we have a problem!

Unless you’re trying to tan everything BUT your cheeks, I’d say a good 5″-7″ will do!! I know some people are a bit uncomfortable with short shorts. I get it, I get it. BUT PLZ, for the sake of everyone and most definitely yourself.. don’t let them fall below your knees. THNX



I personally like patterns and designs. That’s just me.

Because it is Summer, I like to go with something more vibrant, fun, and crazy. OMG, did I just describe myself? Hehe. Justkiddinggg.

Lost? Let me show you a few of my favorites:

Option 1 – It’s simple, and bright! I love it. I like the Dusty Blue as well. These are cute.

Option 2 – This has more of a mellow color palette, but still really cool! I really love these! It sort of reminds me of Fall. DID SOMEONE SAY PUMPKIN SPICE?! Oh, no? okay..

Option 3 – Stripes! Stripes are great. And these are vertical stripes, so they’ll make you look taller! That applies to swim shorts as well, right?

Option 4 – Get me to a tropical island NOW! Imagine wearing these with a coconut in one hand, on a white sandy beach with crystal clear water. Wow. Oh yeah, don’t forget your straw for the coconut. That’s important!

Option 5 – I mean why not? They’re loud and yellow!

Option 6 – So I was only going to show you guys 5 of my faves, but look at these.. Come on? *adds to cart*


Step 3: WHERE FROM?!

Pick a couple of your favorite places, and go wild! I showed you a few from where I would shop, but no one said I was the Fashion God. Or did they? Hm… For real, there’s no one place to shop. Just make sure they’re comfortable. If you’re ordering online, read the return policy before completing your purchase. Don’t want to be stuck with something you don’t want.. #tragic


Step 4: Quantity vs Quality

Clearly you don’t want to choose a pair of swimmies (lol) that are going to fall apart after a couple of wears and washes. Be sure to check the quality and read reviews. These have to last you all Summer!

As far as quantity goes.. well you need at least 3 pair… PER SUMMER! just kidding, slightly. A solid color pair, one with a fun design, and probably a striped/color block pair. Yeah, that should do you over!


Alright, hurry along now.. You’re wasting precious beach and pool time!

That Son Of A Beach

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